Active v. Passive Fiction
What do we mean by the terms passive and active? How
important are they for writing fiction and should we only use one and not the
other?
Some people argue that there is nothing wrong with using passive
fiction - they tend to think of those writers who disagree with this are
purists, but there is a huge difference between using passive fiction deliberately within your writing, for
effect, to using it all the while in the misconstrued belief that it actually
helps the writing, when in reality, it actually does the opposite.
Any worthy editor will always advise against passive
writing for a very good reason, and that’s because passive sentence structures
weaken the writing considerably. It just doesn’t connect with the ear when you
read a passive sentence, nor does it look right. And that’s because it isn’t.
In truth, passive writing is frowned upon, but it can
sometimes have its place, and is most often used in academic writing and
teaching, however, your creative should always be active.
What is meant by active voice?
‘Active’ refers to the subject
of the sentence doing the action, so in an active sentence, the subject is
doing the action to the object, and almost always relies on a strong verb to do
so, for example:
‘Jane loved the flowers.’
In this case, Jane is the subject
doing the action to the object: she loves the flowers and the verb 'loved' is the correct form (used with an object). It’s a perfectly clear
sentence.
What is passive voice?
Passive voice refers to the
subject receiving the action instead of doing it, so if we take the
example above, the passive sentence would look like this:
The flowers were loved by Jane.
This doesn’t just look wrong, it
reads incorrectly, too. The object of the sentence (flowers) is made into the
subject and the real subject (Jane) is relegated within the sentence so that it’s
is rendered clunky by the passive voice. The appearance of ‘were’ is a giveaway
to passive writing, as is the use of ‘was’.
Take a look at these samples to
see the difference between active and passive; the strong and weak sentences
and how they change the way they are read and understood:
The girl was startled by the noise - Passive.
The noise started the girl – Active
The cheese was grated by the chef - Passive
The chef grated the cheese – Active
The man was walked by the Alsatian - Passive
The man walked his Alsatian - active
The use of ‘was’ clearly weakens
the sentences, forcing them to become passive when they are much better as
strong, active sentences. That’s because the subject is being forced to receive
the action rather than to give it.
When writing, try to avoid the
use of ‘was’ or sentence structures with ‘by’, as shown in the example above of
the man being walked by the Alsatian, as these almost always make the writing
passive.
But why is it so important to avoid passive fiction
writing?
Firstly, readers prefer their fiction to be active, not
passive. In other words, passive sentences don’t allow any immediacy. Also,
they don’t create tight sentence structures, either, which are more desirable
than long passive sentences. Look at this example and you’ll see why:
The
car was brought to a halt outside the library and Jane got out with her books.
The cookery books were enjoyed by Jane and she appreciated improving her
knowledge, especially as the moussaka was attempted for the first time and a
complete success with the family.
The entire paragraph is written passively, so there is
little connection or immediacy and the sentences just look so clunky, which
means they are not pleasing to the eye, nor are they clear to the reader. Now
read the same paragraph, with an active voice:
Jane
brought the car to a halt outside the library got out with her books. She had
enjoyed the cookery books and knew they had improved her knowledge, especially
when she attempted moussaka for the first time and it proved a complete success
with the family.
The sentences are different, more concise. They look
different and read differently and because they are active, there is no unwieldy
feel to them. Active verbs are stronger and more efficient. Active voice always
creates immediacy. Passive writing kills it.
For these reasons, active writing is very important and
should always be the aim for any writer. If you see too much use of ‘was’ or ‘were’,
go over the work and see where it can be improved. Root out instances of
passive writing. Keep it strong, active and clear.
Next week: Creating dilemmas in fiction
Passive writing requires great deal of focus and creativity. One golden rule to come up with such a writing is to focus on the characters and personality more.
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