Self Confidence and Writing
I’ve covered this subject in
previous articles, but lots of you have been in touch asking about it, so it’s
time for another visit to a common subject that clearly affects a lot of
writers.
Self-confidence is a bit of an enigma.
Outside of writing, most people are confident about many things in their daily
lives, but the psychology behind what goes on when that confidence does an
about-turn goes much deeper for writers, because often they go from confident
and assured about their work, to doubtful and uncertain in the space of days.
But why? Well, it usually happens the moment they have
to submit their work for scrutiny by their peers, i.e. sending a MSS to an
agent or publisher. The ‘jitters’ set in and they turn on their heels and run
for the hills (metaphorically speaking).
This isn’t uncommon, however. Plenty
of writers lose confidence in themselves (and their ability) when the moment
comes to send off their masterpiece to the big bad agents and publishers.
Suddenly they are confronted with the prospect of criticism and possible
rejection (the two things writers dread most). The natural reaction to this is
that they delay sending their novel out – sometimes for a long while, in order to
avoid the inevitable.
All writers have, at some point, stuttered
at the thought of letting go of their work and subjecting it critique (whether that
criticism is positive or negative). Even long-established and experienced
writers have had a confidence wobble or two in their careers. And many more writers
will approach that point.
But what really makes otherwise
ordinarily, confident writers refrain from sending out their work? What other
reasons are there for a confidence
meltdown?
Here’s a few you might recognise.
Just a few more changes…
The writer thinks that a few more
tweaks to the story can make it absolutely 100% perfect. Because a submission
needs to be the best it can possibly be, after all, right?
Well, to a degree, yes. It should be the best you can make it. It can’t
be perfect, because perfection doesn’t exist, but the only drawback to this is that
it creates a self-perpetuating circle of hopelessness. The writer will keep
tweaking and changing and editing tinkering. The result? Nothing will ever get
sent out.
Underneath this desire for
perfection is a writer who actually lacks the confidence in what they’ve
created, because fear of anything other than perfection will, in their minds,
lead to failure.
Of course, this really isn’t
true. Success or failure cannot be
measured by fear. Writers cannot let lack of confidence and fear of failure
hold them hostage.
The novel/story just isn’t good enough
Whether the story is good enough
or not, in the writer’s mind, all confidence up to that point flies out the
window. The shutters come down and the writer becomes blinkered, totally
convinced that the story just isn’t good enough. And if it isn’t any good, no publisher or
agent will think it’s any good either.
This irrational thought process
comes from the writer’s confidence in the mechanics of the story. Whether the
story is really good or bad is irrelevant. It’s about the ability to have faith in
the story and the characters, the themes and the plot etc, to have enough of
that confidence to send it out to prospective agents and to learn from whatever
might come back.
This sudden fall in confidence
might come about for a number of reasons – the writer compares him or herself
to famous, successful writers and realises the story just isn’t anywhere as
good. Another reason might be that the
writer has read a similar great story by another author. Again, the comparison is automatically made –
in the writer’s mind his or her story isn’t good enough.
I’m not a good enough writer
Similar to not having enough
confidence in the story they’ve created, this one centres wholly on the lack of
confidence with their ability and skill.
Again, it doesn’t actually matter
how good or experienced the writer is, it is really about the level of
confidence that can let them down. This type of insecurity usually stems from
writers directly comparing themselves to other authors and making the
assumption that they will never be as good as they are.
What they don’t realise, however,
is that many famous authors had to fight hard to be published in the first
place. Not only that, but every writer is different; the way they write is
different, their tones and styles might be different. The way some approach
writing is quite different. No writer is the same.
Sometimes we lack the confidence
to just jump into the deep end and swim for it.
But that’s how to get on with writing and the publishing world. Yes,
rejections will happen, but more often than not, writers learn from them and
become better. And yes, stories may not be that good, but again, writers will
learn to make them better and stronger. And just because you are not Stephen
King, Shakespeare or Salman Rushdie, you should not compare yourself with them. Every writer is individual; therefore every
piece of work is, too.
Of course, where there are those
who turn into a quivering wreck at the thought of sending of their work, there
are also those with an abundance of confidence. So much, in fact, that it
becomes detrimental.
Having a quiet, balanced
confidence is one thing, but having too much confidence that it borders
arrogance will get a writer noticed for all the wrong reasons. Over the last 25 years I’ve learned to spot
these easily while critiquing. When someone tells me how great their story is;
how fantastic the characters are, how it was written so easily and with little
effort and how everyone who has ever read the story says how good the story is,
I know that it will be a car crash. And sadly, I’ve always been proved
right.
Why? Because over-confidence is
nature’s way of hiding the reality of truth.
And no one wants to admit their own shortcomings and inadequacies. We
would rather lie to ourselves and bolster such failings instead. Overconfidence
becomes a by-product of that process.
And sadly, these kinds of writers
will never find true success.
Think of confidence as a fluid
entity – it can move and change in depth and breadth. It can grow and become
stronger. It can also shrink and become
weak and vanish.
Lack of confidence is all about
fear. Confidence can be bolstered or
broken in an instant by circumstances, ourselves or our peers. But it’s how a writer deals with it that
makes the difference.
Jump in at the deep end, take a
chance. Be quietly confident.Next week: Creating character dynamics
My problem when writing is that I often compare my writing with other writing that I read. I will often think that my writing is elementary level and I won't want to continue it, when it is actually good. This will happen without me noticing too. So then I end up doing it to everything I write.
ReplyDeleteI also struggle with this. My trick to dealing with it is by convincing myself that some out there will like what I've written, even if I currently don't. I find that this helps most of the time, but I'm still crippled by self doubt sometimes. I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with as writers.
DeleteI found that my self doubt eventually disappeared the more experienced I became; I eventually realised it was down to my perception of what others would think...and to ignore it!
DeleteHi there.
ReplyDeleteWhat you've described is quite common; all writers do it to a degree. By comparing our work with others, especially big famous authors, we allow self doubt to creep in, simply because these writers are published and established, therefore their work MUST be better right?
Not necessarily. There is some bad writing out there, even among famous authors. The trick is to step away from the obvious comparisons, to train your mind NOT to compare, that every author is different and unique. It isn't easy, it takes time, but eventually your mind will tune into your own writing, voice, style and uniqueness and allow you to stop those comparisons.
The more you write, the better you become, and those comparisons vanish.